End of another week

So Thursday night we learned that Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett passed away. I can remember when on a Saturday monirng when I saw the Beat It video I knew that I had be a singer or at least try to be. Like myself Michael inspired a lot of people and was just plain gifted. My thoughts and prayers are with his family. So I went to see History of the World Part 1 and had a Presidente in honor of Michael. In addition, Farrah suffered a lot with Cancer and I know what that is like since most of family members have died of this terrible disease. May both rest in peace

Friday was a bust day. The power went off from 8 -2 so I left the office early and came home to do house chores which would leave my weekend free. Went out to dinner last night with Tom and Evans that was nice but somehow I didn't feel the karaoke (only sang one song Heal the World just for Michael Jackson) vibe, something was off, so we came home early only to find that the battery in my Dell XPS 2010 has been shot or at least I am thinking that's what the problem is so last night was very depressing. Its gonna cost $165.00 from DELL go figure.

Today I got up and watched a cool movie called Crossing Over about US immigration I would highly recommend it. Then I went to the gym and there was a hot guy there working out without his shirt I had to contain myself and concentrate even though it was "hard" pun intended to do lol. Now we will see how the weekend will flow I was kinda hoping to get lucky this weekend but I don't think that is gonna happen. Someone also wanted to me to consider buying a house so that got me thinking a lot about my future and what I really could do and it sucksssss!!! Could go for some Chinese food right now! Anyway hope everyone is having a nice dayits freaking hot out there. Happy Saturday

Another week

Well this week is just as hectic as last week but of course it gonna get worse with carnival one week away. Yesterday I helped Zuelyka with the sign that will go above the stage in the village it looks good but its not complete as yet. Tomorrow we will have a long summer festival meeting. Theres a lot of stuff going on in the next few days some events that I will be going too so I will be looking forward to that. On another front I kinda of got disappointing news I can't get my cornea transplant until September now because the doctor will be on vacation in August and the only other time would be July 30 which is carnival and I am sooooooo not missing that after all the hard work I have put in. Anyway I am watching NCIS then gonna figure out to do something. eheh

Finally Friday

It's Friday again here on the rock and for a third weekend in a row it has not been an enjoyable one from my tooth to now two funerals. This week was also the week from hell with problems and at work and finalizing things for carnival. At least the carnival part is done the tcikets are booked for two bands from St. Maarten, 2 DJ's from St. Maarten and 2 technicians from Saba...tahnk God for a Winair discount promotion that started today. This means that everything is pretty much falling into place for carnival thank God. We also have cleaned up on every hotel room left on the island...so if your looking for a room you might have to set up a tent during the weekend of carnival lol I decided to stay in tonight cause I have a touch of the flu and getting over it and it sucks cause I have to sing tomorrow, and 2 songs, hopefully I can get through that its gonna be a tough time for that particular funeral because the family is so big. I hope they make it through. I myself have just myself numb. After my grandmother died and my uncle and grandfather and 2 other uncles that can take a told on anyone. So to get over all this I bought a ticket for a children's play on Saturday night. It should be cute. I also went out on Thursday night and saw blazzing saddles with Tom, who is here visiting the island for 3 months. He is so cool and its even cooler cuase he likes movies and the theater so its good to relate to someone. Well I better get back to watching Maude trying to get through the first season, its hard cause I only see Bea Arthur as Dorothy lol Night!

And Now My Lifesong Sings

So this week has been very strange. On Sunday There was a small bird that came inito my house and I got scared not because I fear birds but because these yellow breasted ones usually bring bad news in the form of death. Now I don't believe in superstitions but this was just too weird. The week before Suggie passed on, actually the Sunday before he died, the same bird flew into my house. I was like omg someone is gonna die but of course put out of my mind until it happened. Yesterday I went to my neighbor's house and she said you know I had this bird come in my house today, I said uh oh, and we joked about the old wives tale because again this past Sunday another bird flew in. This morning I learned at 7am that Ms. Grace Hassell, Wilma's mom, had passed on. Of course you can deduce that Wilma was the neighbor. It waas very sad. I went and visited Wilma at the old age home and Ms. Grace lay peacefully in her bed as if she was taking a long nap. It was very sad especially for a duaghter who had just rcently moved to FL. So the funeral is on Saturday and I have been asked by my friend Carol who is one o fthe grand daughters to sing a song. I have never heard this song but its really beautiful so I will try my best. I really came to dislike funerals seeing that I have already lost so many people in my family but I want to be there for Wilma and her family they are special people and we have known each other for years, hell she was the first one to take me out to a bar at age 13 :-) totally legal here in Saba...Tomorrow I have a meeting with a donor for this proposal of Adult Continuing Education on Saba and hopefully it goes ok I am a bit nervous about but it should be fine. The students are keeping me on my twos this week and there is never a dull moment. Tonight I said goodbye to a new friend who goes back and forth having a house here and in CA. he is coolbeans. I will listen to the song for the funeral a few more times before bed but the title which is the same of this blog post mkaes me think a lot about my life the people who are in it and those who have left it and thats what I will be thinking on when I sing this. My throat has been feling like the flu might be coming on but will battle that!

xoxox

To Be Human

As humans we must be the more frail of species. We are born, we live and then we die. During that time we are given the chance to experience a lot of things. I think the profound of these is to be loved. There is something about a stare, a smile, the funny way someone may twirl their hair whatever the reason the more prevelant of all of these is the human touch. It is powerful! When you are scared, happy, sad or just having a bad day when another human being wraps their arms around you and feel that kindered spirit of the other you are now safe, secure and nothing else around you matters because you know in the end everything will be ok for that one moment. I miss that very much. I can say I have only truly been in love one time though proclamining whenever I wanted doesn't seem fair now but that's how you learn and as I get older I realize more and more what I want and who I want or wish I could be with. Enough of my silly philosophy just kind of in a down mood at the moment...Last night I had pizza with a new friend and went to karaoke but didn't stay long. Today I was back in the gym after being out for two weeks. I went to Shuggie's funeral and watched two movies. It's about 6pm and I am listening to the closing score from Braveheart and its touching sums up my mood for today. So to be human or not to be human. Well to be of course to be, why would one want to be numb, to feel, to hurt, to cry, to laugh, and yes even to love no matter how brief it may be is the greatest miracle of all...I long for that just one more time....just his touch whoever he may one day be. Good night

Sinking

Just got back from Tropics and a nice dinner and a movie with my co worker. The stars are out and sky is sparkling so now I am home listening to the Titanic soundtrack you know what that means...somewhat of a depression thing going on. I was thinking today I have to be brave and encourage my students and always remind them to have a goal and be strong and I am not listening to the same advice. I guess its hard for me because I have never really centered my life on something. Growing up all I knew were movies and music and sometimes when I sit at my desk I can hear applause in the back of my mind or see myself delivering a monologue that required the Oscar. I have not given up on that dream and I guess in a way I want that because it would help me escape. Escape to being whoever I wanted and doing what ever I wanted. When I think of those lives on the Titanic or any disaster how life can be just snatched from you and in the end what are you really remembered for? Hmmm I guess I am pondering my existence and what when my ship will come in for now I will just stay afloat and hold on until there is a sign of hope!

Wicked Wednesday

So today started off on a bad note as Saba lost a very nice gentleman by the name of "Suggy". He died of a heart attack and well just puts into perspective that anything can happen at any time in life whether you are ready to leave it or not. In the morning I got cheered up when my Designing Women Season 1 DVD box set came can't wait to start watching (Season 2 is already in my Amazon wish list lol) which will be tonight lol In the afternoon I volunteered with the Aids Support Group Saba and that was fun I mean who doesn't like talking about sex...well Sabans I guess because not a lot of people came but we made the best of it. As I was walking to catch a ride I made a choice about something I was gonna do on Saturday night and while it is so tempting and would be enjoyable I just realize that I am not that person anymore and I need some more stability in my life. For the first time today my teeth extraction feels a lot better even though there is a throb now and then. I am hungry, tired, and need a shower lol Thursday is almost here and Friday is right after and can't wait for pizza and nice conversation with an interesting person I just met. He's so sweet. See ya!

Tuesday Times

So last night I ended talking to a really nice guy for about 3 hours online and I might get into some trouble with him lol. Also last night was the Season Premiere of THE CLOSER and of course Kyra did not disappointment with the twist in the end. Yesterday also carnival started coming together more with th ebands we want to use. Not sure what today will bring but I am anxiously awaiting my Designing Women Season 1 Box set along with Maude hopefully the arrive tonight via ICS. Anyway time to get back to work!

Nice evening

So the art show from my students went on without a hitch. Good turn out and the students were very pleased. As I looked at their faces I realized that my job really does change lives and I am making a difference even though at times I get frustrated. Also saw my buddy Ali and watched Will and Grace then we had some coffee now I am watching the Tony Awards and once again this year imagining myself on that stage maybe one day that dream will come true for me. Tomorrow its back to work and another long week but I am gonna hope its a gonna be a nice week and just imagining myself in a better place one where I have always dreamed of staying. Good night from Saba as the moon hides behind clouds over the ocean.

Alone Tonight

So I cleaned, folded, ironed and washed up dishes like a good single Cinderfella and then I basically had nothing to do all day which I guess was good because I wasn't in the mood for anything anyway. I watch High School Musical 3 (hate, love Zac Efron because hes beautiful), The Watchmen and Fired Up(the dark haired guy is way cute and def Sean Cody material lol). Tonight not sure what I will do! I should be at Bingo but I don't think hacking up blood at a table would be cute or tasteful :-). It's time like these that I miss my ex, Shamit, I don't think I have ever been in love since him we were a perfect match except for some that led me to break up with him. He calls me every though and we have remained the best of friends since 2005 I even visited last year in Ohio and now he's a resident doctor. I am so proud of him. But yeah some cuddling to a movie or just some talk would be nice tonight like I use to do with him but I will have to settle for my own company. Tomorrow my students have an art exhibit so have to go to prepare for that at 2:30. What a crap weekend so far I hope next weekend is better. In any event hope your night is more eventful than mine as the sun sets on Saba.

The Day After

So it's about 5am and well I hardly slept. Kind of difficult when you have blood in your mouth all night long and your spitting it out like Kate Winslet in Titanic. So I have decided to start cleaning and skip the gym today which sucks because now I am behind in my workout routine. Oh wait backstory...yesterday I went to the dentist for what I thought would be an easy time...I had two wisdom teeth pulled before from the left side of my mouth and apparently one grew back so the doctor felt it was best to take it out. Welll...when he was extracting yesterday he found two not one so it was quite an ordeal. When I got home I started some pain killers right away because I knew it was gonna be a long night and it was...5 am on with the cleaning and well the blood hasn't stop pouring forth so I think its gonan be another long day plus its raining outside so you can tell where my mood lays. Only thing I can look forward too is a Bingo later on and with me not being able to eat proper food it's gonna be another day! Happy Sat from Saba