Sinking

Just got back from Tropics and a nice dinner and a movie with my co worker. The stars are out and sky is sparkling so now I am home listening to the Titanic soundtrack you know what that means...somewhat of a depression thing going on. I was thinking today I have to be brave and encourage my students and always remind them to have a goal and be strong and I am not listening to the same advice. I guess its hard for me because I have never really centered my life on something. Growing up all I knew were movies and music and sometimes when I sit at my desk I can hear applause in the back of my mind or see myself delivering a monologue that required the Oscar. I have not given up on that dream and I guess in a way I want that because it would help me escape. Escape to being whoever I wanted and doing what ever I wanted. When I think of those lives on the Titanic or any disaster how life can be just snatched from you and in the end what are you really remembered for? Hmmm I guess I am pondering my existence and what when my ship will come in for now I will just stay afloat and hold on until there is a sign of hope!